LATE BLOOMER

I am what you’d call a late bloomer, one of those women who becomes beautiful with age.

Strangely, I say this without any pretense: I don’t think I’m the prettiest (I am actually totally incapable of naming the most beautiful woman in the world because I find lots of women beautiful in many different ways) but I’m happy with what I see in the mirror, be it puffy and eyes and poufy hair or a perfectly prepped face.

I find myself beautiful simply because I feel that I am in harmony. In harmony with the life I chose because I’ve pretty much found a way to coherently bring together my opinions, values and my lifestyle. I know who I am, I know my strengths, my weaknesses, my qualities, my defects and my emotional demons, all of which I strive to embrace fully, without hiding anything beneath the mask of ego.

Some women are lucky enough to meet a person, to go through something in their lives that just directly brings all the pieces of the puzzle together harmoniously.

In my case, the encounter happened rather late, at the age of 35. Before that, I was a (relatively) pretty young woman, with an intellectual intelligence, but extremely silly and egotistic. My position in life was often ‘against’, without any real listening or real empathy, which led me to hurt many people. Stubborn and headstrong, I was sure that I was almost always right, making the life of many boyfriends and family members hell. I never went to the bottom of any human or emotional issues that arose and thus often took decisions purely based on ego. I abused of my talents, those I had, even those I didn’t have, always pushed by my ego. Beneath a polished, attractive exterior, the cute, smart, lawyer with her strong personality, international cases, charming in every way… was just playing a game of mass destruction.

I am now nearly 43. I may not be a saint but I am fully aware of my defects, my weaknesses, my demons. And of my strengths. I am conscious of my talents but now I know how to use them efficiently and never to abuse them to the detriment of others. I try to approach every situation with as much distance as I can get, without any vested interests, ego or comfort and I try my best to make every decision fairly, though the result can be a little surprising to most.

More than any amount of makeup or clothing, it is the internal mark of fairness and harmony that makes a woman beautiful.

September 2, 2017