Contemplate the possibility of an act being a mistake. Contemplate all the whys and wherefores of the said act. Assess all the alternative routes offered by life (… dive right into the mistake but knowing that it is a mistake): that is the perfect allegory of my life.
Though I have made many mistakes, big and small (and will continue to make some, obviously), four rules have always guided my steps along the road of life. These rules are called the Toltec Agreements.
There are four agreements and they are as simple as it gets:
Be Impeccable with your Word: say what you mean, in a measured way and with integrity. This is easier said than done but it is all the more important, given that words have a weight, an impact and can quickly turn into poison.
Don’t Take Anything Personally: what others say and do is but a reflection of their own story, trauma, anger and reality. Keeping this in mind allows us to take the necessary distance to avoid being needlessly hurt. It also potentially enables us to help others escape from emotional ruts.
Don’t Make Assumptions: Likewise, the acts and words of those around us are a product of their stories and belong to them. Making assumptions on the causes of these words and acts or elaborating negative hypotheses is the best way to miss out on the true emotions that guide a person’s actions. Asking the real questions, communicating with no hidden stakes will avoid many emotional dramas.
Always Do Your Best: it’s very easy to rewrite history, to reminisce on how we could’ve done better… except that our reactions are always grounded in the emotional means and realities we have at a given moment. Accepting this allows us to avoid regrets and counterproductive guilt. Doing your best is pondering all possible courses of action and choosing as wisely as possible with regards to the means and abilities we possess at present. Accepting this also allows us to strive towards perfection (which, luckily, doesn’t exist).
Once again, it is easier to understand these Toltec Agreements, which were developed by Mexican shaman Miguel Ruiz, on an intellectual level than on an emotional one. Living by them every day is a true challenge. But I promise it is worthwhile.
I’ll leave you on this note, I’ve got a puddle to jump in 😉
Miu Miu blouse & sunglasses – Vintage trousers – Valentino purse – Stella Luna shoes